New Funny Status for Whatsapp and Facebook

funny

We have the best collection of funny status and untouched and latest funny status for you. We have a lot of new funny status quotes 2016 for your friends. We have a lot of status quotes, funny status for whatsapp, whatsapp status for love, and latest whatsapp status in Hindi and English. We have up-to-date list of latest funny quotes 2016. So, stay tuned to get new updates. I am sharing the best funny quotes for Whatsapp & FB. We have a lot of quotes to share with your friends and you can really get a lot of amazing and cool status for Whatsapp.

funnyWe are sharing the best quotes and status with our readers. This status can make you and your friends laugh louder. There are millions of people using Whatsapp status from across the world. You can easily create new status everyday and there are lots of people who change their status more often. You can easily choose the best whatsapp status as per your mood. I am sure you will love this status for your collection. We have a lot of cool and amazing status for Whatsapp. You can truly show your attitude and personality in your own way with these quotes.

Always respects your self!

I just need a good Wifi & Wife.

!Brain is Work More ..When You can use…..

#3 Mistake done by everyone ..Whatsapp,Facebook & GF!

70% boy Have GF ,other Have Brain!

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong & A tax is a fine for doing well…!

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

Alcohol will give different, type of power!..

All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.

All the Rules are made.. to be break.

Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.

At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.

Boys, if you don’t look like calvin klein models, don’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) πŸ™‚

Brain is Intelligent !Why not have Everyone…

Brain is the best worker,When you can use it…

C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping πŸ™‚

Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.

Cigarette chodna sabse asan h- main hazaro baar chhod_ chukka hu…!!

Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.

Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software…it’s called #Monday, please fix it

Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?

Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

Drunk people run on Red Light…, Normal people wait for them to turn green.!

Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..

Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

Excuse me …. Plesae empty your pockets …. I think you stole my heart.

Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)

Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call… Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!

Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.

Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! πŸ˜›

Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.

Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.

God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me πŸ˜›

GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.

Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL

Here my dad comes on whatsapp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley…

Hey there whatsapp is using me.

High Power Come ,with High voltage Current!

How can i miss something i never had?

I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice πŸ™‚

I am not addicted to WHATS APP. I only use it when I have time ……. lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. πŸ™‚

I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.

I don’t drink alcohol! but Feel Awesome..

I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough πŸ˜‰

I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them πŸ™‚

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

I Like to study.. Arithmetic – NO … world history – NO …. chemistry – NO …. GIRLS – YES!!!

I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!

I love my job only when I am on vacation….

I love my job only when I’m on vacation…..

I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat πŸ™‚

I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep πŸ™‚

I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.

I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi πŸ™‚

I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. πŸ™‚

I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!

I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. πŸ™‚

If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking πŸ™‚

If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.

If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking πŸ™‚

If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.

If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either πŸ™‚

If your are still hate me!then No Problem!..

I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

In bed, it’s 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At school it’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31

In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebookistan!!!

Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.

It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.

It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry πŸ™‚

I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. πŸ™‚

Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.

Life is Short – Chat Fast!

Life is too short smile while you still have teeth…

Man ask a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that girl… , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”!

Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.

Marriage is the cause of divorce.!

Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.

My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol

My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

My GF will look beautiful in Adhaar Card

My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

My Study Period = 20 Minutes , Rest Time = 2 Hours.

Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

No I didn’t trip …The floor looked like …it needed a hug!.

One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions πŸ™‚

Ooooooo…..Don’t copy my status.

People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p

People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reason…

People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym.

Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.

Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. πŸ™‚

Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

Save water drink beer.

Save Water, Drink Wine!!

Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.

Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited” πŸ™‚

The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight πŸ™‚

There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh

TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED πŸ™‚

Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. πŸ˜€

Today’s Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.

Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.

We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook πŸ˜€

Whatsapp users never die but they just go offline.

When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

When I actually die some people_ are going to get really haunted.

When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians…

When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…

Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.

Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped πŸ™‚

Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?

Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.

You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it ..

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