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Accomplishing things before the microwave hits 00:00.
Alcohol – Because no good story started with someone eating a salad.
all i want in life is to lose weight and gain money yet instead, here i am, gaining weight and losing money
Arizona 99 cent drinks are the shit. Period.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.
Chips have little nutritional value. That’s why you need to eat the whole bag.
Dear food commercials, No one eats in slow motion with their eyes closed. Sincerely, normal people..
Dear Fridge, I will be back in 35 minutes, please go shopping. Sincerely, Hungry as hell!
Dear Pringles, I cannot fit my hand inside your tube of deliciousness.
Dear Vegetarians, If you love animals so much, then why do you keep eating all their food?
Eat like every day is Thanksgiving.
Eating an orange before working out not only keeps you hydrated but also keeps your muscles from getting sore
Eating popcorn: 80% during trailers. 20% during the movie.
Food is my favorite. If I ever share it with you, then you’re pretty damn special.
Hell hath no fury like me when I’m slightly inconvenienced and hungry.
Hiding your favorite food from the rest of your family because you’re a selfish bitch.
Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they’re fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
I disagree that hunger isn’t an emotion. I feel it in my SOUL.
I don’t trust people that dislike tacos.
I eat so much… I make fat kids look skinny!
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
I just stepped on a cornflake. Now, I am officially a cereal killer.
I need pumpkin flavored EVERYTHING.
I need to hire someone who will follow me around and just knock the unhealthy food out of my hand.
I want a hot body but I also want hot wings.
I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level.
If history has taught us anything, it’s that reheated french fries are gross.
If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn’t be called nachos.
If there is no chocolate in heaven.. I AM NOT GOING !
If you drink enough fluids in the morning, you will feel happier, sharper, and more energetic throughout the day.
If you open your fridge and find nothing to eat, lower your standards.
If you say you can’t cook what your really saying is that you can’t read and follow directions.
I’m not hungry. But, I am bored. Therefore, I shall eat. Story of every person’s life.
I’m not hungry. But, I am bored. Therefore, I shall eat… 😀
I’m so excited for Valentines Day all the chocolate is gonna be on sale YAY
I’m the type of person who looks at the menu for five minutes but ends up ordering the same exact thing every time.
I’m trying to kick dairy and now I’ve got the milk shakes.
Is there gonna be food? “Yeah” Ok then i’m coming.
Is there gonna be food?” “Yeah””Ok then i’m coming.
Isn’t it weird that after 30,000 years of eating bread, everyone is gluten allergic now?
Just finished my 6 minute upper body workout-it was pretty easy:arm down,pick up food,arm up,put food in mouth, switch arms 🙂
LIKE if you can’t tell the difference between coke & pepsi.
Men: Uses love to get sex. Women: Uses sex to get love. Me: Uses coupons to get pizza.
Mom, can we go to McDonalds?” “there’s food in the fridge.” “That’s not what I asked..
My diabetic friend died in his sleep. I forgot to wish him “sweet dreams.”
My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room.
my hobbies include eating and complaining that i’m getting fat.
Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
Nothing says “I’ve already given up on this day” quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza.
Okay, can someone please invent the opposite of a microwave. I need my beer cold, now. And no, the freezer is not fast enough 🙂
Poor alcohol, it gets blamed for everything.
really doesn’t get why people like brunch. What’s the benefit of combining break-dancing and lunch?
Stop complaining about being single on valentines day. We have bigger problems here, like why McDonald’s doesn’t serve breakfast after 10:30
Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonald�s doesn�t serve breakfast after 10:30.
Television + food, it just goes together
That awkward moment when someone skinnier than you says “I’m so fat.” and you stand there like (-_-)
That moment when skinny people call themselves fat and your heavier than them.
The first sip of a hot beverage is always the scariest sip.
The only clubs I’m into are sandwiches.
The year is 2089. Toasters are made clear now and no one burns toast or bagels. Crime is at 0%
There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note, “Don’t eat me.” Now there’s an empty plate and a note, Don’t tell me what to do.
Thinks chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you don’t need an appointment.
True beauty is within” for example opening your fridge
ughh I’m so full..”who wants dessert?”..”MEEE!!!”
We’ve solved so many world problems, and yet chocolate still has calories.
When I hear myself eating crunchy food, I wonder if other people can hear it too.
When you’re stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate, and sweets.. Why? Because ‘Stressed’ spelled backwards is ‘Desserts’ 🙂
You cannot taste me, until you undress me. Sincerely, banana.
You cannot taste me, until you undress me. Sincerely, banana.
You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream. And that’s kind of the same thing.
You can’t buy happiness.but you can buy ice cream,which is kinda the same thing (;
You don’t really truly know someone until you get ridiculously drunk with them.
You’re at Starbucks? Please post pictures of your coffee, I’ve never seen one before.
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